I Can't Fool God By Pamela Kline

For the longest time now, I have been hiding behind a mask of unreality towards other people and myself. I pretend to be this person who has it all together when really, deep inside, I’m an emotional wreck. I don’t like being vulnerable; getting embarrassed about looking bad in front of my friends. So I hide behind the thought that I have it all together, providing an illusion that makes me feel better in those situations.
I was struggling with writing about what I thought about myself and our group coming together. I honestly hated the fact that I had to write about this because I might have get put out in the open, thus becoming vulnerable. I just want to be accepted without looking bad.
On June 21st, Abba and Papa Nathanael talked to the Sojourners about being honest with each other and touched on the three parts that make a soul: the mind, the emotions, and the will. I thought it was quite interesting that they talked about this because I could think of people who could use this in their life and not my own. Fortunately, I can’t fool God. I had to face the fact sooner or later that I was just as bad in those parts as the people I was thinking about. One of my weaknesses is letting my emotions move me. I get emotional about so many things because that is just how I am. Not even a whole month passed until they talked about emotions straightforwardly to us- which I felt was almost directed towards me.
Emotions can be very powerful. God equipped us with them for survival and so that we can feel Him when He is near. I get to this place where I think these God-given traits are horrible because I have such a hard time with them. Abba said that it is good to be in reality about your emotions and whether they were controlling you or if you were controlling them. I’m thinking “this is gonna be interesting watching my brother go through this”. Boy was I wrong. I just didn’t see how much I struggled with it. We were given homework to come back next week with a story about how we controlled our emotions and mastered it. Now I knew I was in for it.

The rest of that week and the beginning of the next, I started to notice how many times I let my emotions control me. There was one instance where I was going on a diet and was only allowed to eat certain foods. My mom helped me set the boundaries of the things I could not eat and let me loose to explore. However, not only was my mom watching me closely but so were my brother and sisters. If I took one time during the week to splurge a little, they were always there to correct me. It made me mad that they took on the responsibility of telling me what I could and could not do on the diet. My sister Jubilee especially watched and told me everything. I got so mad at her and ended up yelling at her to stop being my parent. I got defensive and felt like she was being a bossy pest, but in the end, I realized she was just trying to help. We would get in so many arguments over this. Eventually, I would go back to her at the end of the day and tell her that despite the fact that she thought she was helping me, I felt like I was being monitored with my eating. I would also get mad at her not only because of her corrections to me but because she had bad eating habits as well. She was so concentrated on trying to help me that she was not seeing how much she needed help as well. Now, we have worked this out to where I can hear her without getting defensive and angry and she can do the same for me.

I still have these battles raging in my mind and my emotions I fight with daily. I still get scared that I am ruled by my emotions. I’m trying to find out who I am as a person and what my purpose is in the Sojourners. For now, I will wait for God to reveal this to me with the help of my friends.

Hearing God By Melody Denson

Our group, the Sojourners, hasn’t always been one group. Several years previously, there was a girl’s group given the name the Sundari Jewels, and the guy’s group was named the Silver Knights.
As we began to grow and mature, God brought us together into one BIG group (there are twenty-one of us).
We haven’t been a group for very long and we’ve been learning how to become true friends. In order to become friends, we had to get to know one another, and in order to get to know one another, we had to spend time together. And so we did…
A few months ago, several adults in our community came up with the idea of a summer retreat (kind of like a church camp).
They wanted to provide for us the opportunity to be together and start getting to know each other, but most of all, for us to learn more about God. The main theme for the whole trip was ‘Hearing God’.
So the planning began. But so did all the complications. Dates were set, meetings were held, topics were discussed, but, (as was to be expected) it seemed impossible to find an open weekend. Finally, we conquered the circumstances and were to embark on our adventure on the third of September.
Upon our arrival, we were greeted by an elderly woman, Mrs. Martin. Amazingly, she ran the whole place on her own. There were two main buildings: one lodge for the girls and another for the guys.
The evening session was taught by Papa Shammah on hearing God. I won’t go into too much detail, but one of the things that helped me personally was this: You will never really know if the task set before you is God’s will until you do it.
I often second-guess myself on whether or not God is really speaking to me, and so I don’t do the very thing He actually was telling me to do – I miss God. So that has been a question in my mind for a long time, but the answer was given to me that evening.
Have you ever felt the urge to go talk to someone you didn’t even know, or go help a stranger with their grocery bags, or encourage a friend? Have you ever wondered if it was God who was speaking to you or if it was just a thought inside your head? I have.
So I asked Mrs. Hadassah, “How can I know if it’s really God?”
Her answer was one of my favorite things said all weekend…
She said, “By nature, there is nothing good in us. Anything good in us comes from God. So if you feel an inclination to do something good, it must be God speaking to you.”
To sum everything up, the weekend was amazing! Not only did we get to spend almost three whole days together and come away from those three days feeling much more acquainted with each other, but we got to learn about God from some of the wisest people we know.

Something We'll Never Forget By Rachel Fagan

September 3rd, 4th and 5th was the Sojourner retreat in Mississippi. We were there to come more together as a group and to get some spiritual direction from the adults that went with us.
My favorite part of the retreat was when we Sojourners got to be together and share what God has been doing with us or speaking to us. I also really enjoyed just having fun and being together.
At the session "What Does God Want From Me Now" I felt like a lot of people really opened up about what they felt like God had spoken to them and it was very encouraging. Nikki said that God had been working on her about serving with a happy heart since her Nana was here and needed care. It was awesome because right after this, lunch had the theme "serving one another." We all had to serve someone else and not ourselves.
The Gathering on Sunday was awesome. We had so much fun dancing together and there was more sharing by the Sojourners. Ms. Faith brought something to encourage us all. She had written down each of our names and what our spiritual gifts were according to each person. I will just talk about mine. Ms. Faith said that I was free and also that I am a "forerunner" in our group. She said that I am willing to be the first to put my foot in and try things out. To me this means that I am an example to others, but the best leader is the one who is good at following.
This retreat, I believe, greatly encouraged all of us and I just thank God for the awesome time we had. It was indeed a trip we will never forget.

The Sojourners By Suzie Lemire

My friends, the Sojourners, just came together as a group. It is amazing, when I come to think of it, the change that has taken place within our group in the last few months. I think the change is due to all of our meetings together and all of the help we have been getting from the adults.
Six months ago it would not only have been awkward but also foreign to talk about God in a group setting. But now some people who never talk are starting to voice their opinions and say what they feel and think.
Six months ago, some of us were being separated from each other because the adults couldn’t trust us when we were together. Now we’re getting to do things that the groups above us never got to do at our age. Where I used to feel a gap between the boys and girls, I have freedom and friendship. The guys all feel so much more like brothers to me because they make me feel safe instead of awkward or flirty.
We are all learning how to control our emotions, form deeper relationships, talk about God more freely and to work together as a unit. I think God will be able to use us in big ways as a group. Our unity will be what sets apart and what God uses in us to make a difference.